


For the first time and the last time, in my only life

by samizee



Series: True Kinda Love [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Doubt, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship Discussions, Romance, Sub Drop, Subdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24088135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samizee/pseuds/samizee
Summary: Virgil isn't really into the scene they were currently in...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders/Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: True Kinda Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737841
Comments: 3
Kudos: 127





	For the first time and the last time, in my only life

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the "Sweet as sugar cookies verse" but you don't have to read that one to enjoy this fic :)

Virgil is kneeling on the floor, hands tied behind his back and his mouth around a gag. His head his bowed and his eyes are cast down, staring at the floor. He’s been staring at the same wood markings for the past couple of minutes not really thinking about it. All he could think about was he was far away from the bed.

Far away from _them._

He lifts his eyes to steal a glance at the other two, Thomas and Roman, on the bed, Thomas going down on Roman, wrapping his mouth around the Royal’s cock. They’re lost in each other, focused on pleasuring each other and not at all noticing Virgil.

**They’re not even looking at him.**

It’s just a game. Virgil knows it’s just a game. And that’s what he tells himself over and over again. He tells himself, screams inside his head, that they love him and this is just a stupid game.

**But Roman and Thomas aren’t even looking at him.**

The wood feels uncomfortable, digging at the skin of his knees and it hurts. And his own voice isn’t loud enough to counter the other voice in his head that taunts him and echoes.

_They don’t want you. They don't need you_

**_-Oh I can’t stand that guy!_ **

_They both hate you, remember?_

**_-Ugh tell me about it_ **

_They’ve always hated you._

He’s cold, so cold. And it hurts.

The tears fall from Virgil’s eyes before he could do anything about it, and the voice gets louder and louder until it completely takes over him.

_Not wanted! Hate you–! Not wanted! Hate you–! Not wanted! Hate you–!_

Virgil feels something hard beneath his knees but he doesn’t know what. His eyes are glazed over and his looking at nothing. Where was he again? He vaguely feels something warm touch his skin, it feels kinda nice but..but why is it gripping on him so tight? He hears a familiar voice..two familiar voices..and they were calling him? He knows his name they were calling his name....

—---------

“--Virgil! Virgil, baby! Verge come on, look at me!” Roman pleads, lifting Virgil’s chin so he can look into the younger Side’s eyes, Virgil still looks dazed and out of it.

“Verge..” Thomas’s voice is uncertain and dripping with concerned, but he keeps his hands to himself afraid to touch his Anxious Side and do more damage.

“Virgil” Roman calls taking both sides of Virgil’s face in his hands, “Virgil, please. Come back to us”

They stare on with worry. Virgil seems unresponsive. But then.

Then tears begin to trickle down Virgil’s face. New ones covering the tear tracks covering Virgil’s cheeks from crying a couple of seconds ago. Roman and Thomas watch as Virgil trembles and sobs silently, the sight breaking both their hearts. Someone takes the gag out of his mouth and he feels the drool drip down at the side of his lips.

"'m sorry" Virgil murmurs.

“Darling.” Roman will his voice to sound steady though there’s a slight tremor to it, “My darling, what are you apologising for?”

Virgil murmurs another apology, as more tears fall.

“Verge. Verge you don’t need to apologise for anything” This time it was Thomas who spoke, but the host didn’t bother to hide the distraught in his voice.

Virgil lifts his eyes and finally looks at them. “Please don’t—” he chokes before his eyes flicker down.

“Please don’t what, baby?” Thomas asks.

“Please don’t hate me again”

The words crash through both of them and they hold themselves back from completely breaking down, Roman cursing himself inwardly and Thomas looking at Virgil with complete heartbreak in his expression.

“Oh Virgil” Roman’s voice almost breaks, “Our Virgil. Our, sweet, sweet Virgil. We don’t hate you..we never” Roman’s throat tightens “please don’t think that..please don’t”

“We love you.” Thomas speaks, swallowing a lump in his throat as he pushes his own tears back. “We love you so much..please don’t. Please don’t ever think that we don't..we love you so, so much!”

“Won’t even look at me” Virgil mumbles, voice sounding small.

“Fuck” It was Thomas who cursed but the other two seemed unfazed, “fuck, Verge. We didn’t—”

“–we should have caught the signs that you weren’t into the scene” Roman says, “ we should have ended it”

“We are so sorry”

Virgil is silent and Thomas and Roman were afraid they’d lost him again before he speaks in a soft voice, “please hold me”

Roman happily obliges wrapping his arms around Virgil’s lean frame, pulling the Anxious Side close.

“I’m gonna go get Verge some water.” Thomas says as he stands, he walks out his room naked.

Roman lifts Virgil from the floor, smiling a little bit when Virgil clings onto him.

“I got you, my Knight. I got you” Roman murmurs, pressing a kiss on Virgil’s temple.

He gently lays Virgil on the soft mattress, joining him under the covers, before wrapping his arms around Virgil again. He cuddles Virgil feeling the smaller Side tremble against him.

They stay like that. Roman holding Virgil, pressing soft kisses on the other Side and whispering soothing words until Virgil is fully himself again.

Thomas comes back a couple of minutes later, holding a cup of something. It could be chocolate, it could be coffee, but it was definitely covered with a lot of whipped cream.

“That’s not water” Roman points out as Thomas joins them on the bed.

“I know.” Thomas shrugs, “but I know Verge. And I know this is what comforts him”

Virgil is already sitting up and moving to take the cup.

Thomas smiles and hands it to him. “Here you go, my Angel”

“Thank you” Virgil murmurs, taking a sip from the drink and remaining snuggled against Roman.

Thomas moves to wrap his other arm around Virgil, pressing himself against his youngest Side, so Virgil is sandwiched between Roman and Thomas.

“You have whipped cream on your nose” Roman teases, Virgil tries to get the cream with his tongue, causing the other two to laugh.

There’s a moment of silence before Thomas speaks.

“Verge? Virgil we’re really so–” 

Virgil is quick to shake his head. “Don’t. It was my fault. I should have safe worded out”

“No.” Roman speaks, his voice firm, “You weren’t in the right mindset to speak..we should have read your responses..I was in charge..I should have been looking out for you..” he glances at Thomas. “both of you”

“And hierarchy wise, I should have been taking care of you, Verge” Thomas sighs, “we both messed up”

“I messed up too” Virgil said, “I should have—I should have mentioned that I wasn’t into it when you two suggested it..I’m sorry”

“I think it’ll help all of us if we discussed things like this” Roman speaks, “talk about the things that we don’t like..our boundaries. We’ve covered the basics during the first week of our relationship but I think we should discuss it further.”

“That’s a good idea” Thomas nods, as Virgil hums in agreement.

“Patton does say that it’s a Dom’s job to hear what their sub is saying..even if the sub isn’t speaking” Roman murmurs.

Virgil nods thoughtfully. “He’s a great dom”

Thomas and Roman both turn to him. “–and how do you know this”

Virgil shrugs, “Janus talks”

That responds causes Roman to smirk and a chuckle to escape from Thomas’s lips.

A small smile appears on Virgil’s face and he feels himself relax against Roman’s chest. Virgil finishes his drink and Thomas takes his cup and puts it on the bedside table.

“Is there anything else you need, baby?” Thomas asks returning to his previous position, arms holding Virgil.

Virgil shakes his head. “Just this..just you two..with me”

Thomas smiles and moves to press a kiss on Virgil’s neck. “We love you, Verge” he says and Roman says the same thing, his hands raking through Virgil’s hair, threading his fingers through the purple strands.

“I love you guys too” Virgil whispers, feeling the warmth of their love and affection chase away the cold and the doubt he had felt earlier, “I love you both so much”


End file.
